As I type this blog, there is a plastic jar stuck on the end of my pinkie finger of my right hand. Needles to say, this makes typing quite difficult as the damn jar keeps hitting numbers on the number pad. But, because my faithful readers have been so deprived of funny stories this term, I will deal with it and tell you the story of how this bloody jar came to be stuck on my finger.
You can buy cheap juice crystals in these 1L plastic jars at the Superstore here in Thunder Bay. I use an empty one to prepare water for my beta’s tank. I think if Boobs had a sense of humour, she would be laughing at me right now (Yes, my fish is named Boobs). I also own a lighter – a few lighters actually – because I like fire. I’m not a pyro by any means, but sometimes its just fun to play with.
I was sitting at my computer, playing with the lighter, when I spotted the jar. I looked back to my lighter, then back to the jar. Plastic melts I thought to myself. Melting things is also fun. And so I made the center of the bottom of the jar all soft and poked a hole in it with a pencil. I made the hole bigger using the pencil, and then I pushed my finger into it, because what are holes for, if not for putting fingers in? (This has gotten me into trouble before. I may tell you of it one day). The plastic was still hot of course, and I found that out very quickly. I tired to pull my finger out, but the plastic had cooled into a perfect form around my finger, in such a way that I could push my finger in easily, but not pull it out, like a piranha’s teeth.
I’ve tried water, lubing it up with Vicks, and even pulling really hard. It’s still stuck, and now all I can smell is the damn Vicks. I hope I can get it off some how before my first final; I’m right handed…
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