21 February 2010
By Tap
In Humorous, Just Life
I don’t know about you, but within seconds of getting up in the morning, I experience a furious need to pee. Typically, this is not a problem, as I wake up most days before my girlfriend does, and make my way to the bathroom before she can occupy it.
Sometimes, and this is usually on the weekend, she will beat me to the bathroom. And then I must wait. Most often the wait is a short one, but a couple weeks ago it was not. I’m not entirely sure how long I had to wait for, but it seemed like an eternity. Time slowed as I put all my energy and focus into not pissing myself. I paced our tiny living room with increasing speed as the seconds ticked by. From the bathroom door to the TV to the kitchen sink, then back ’round again. The need to pee continued to build; I was running out of time.
On one of my loops into the kitchen, I spied a water bottle in the recycling bin. And it still had it’s lid! I snatched it up, hid myself in the bedroom, and very very carefully started to fill that bottle. Despite my desperate need to relieve myself, the fear of being caught by my girlfriend in this compromising and questionable position almost made it impossible to go, but go I did. The feeling of relief was so great I almost groaned with relief. The stream continued, and thats when I noticed that I was quickly running out of space in the bottle. With an effort I stemmed the flow, capped the bottle, and quickly hid it in my sock bin. Not a moment too soon either.
Ashamed of my act, I decided to wait until the girlfriend was occupied with something so I could sneak the pee bottle from its hiding place and dispose of it in the toilet. I then promptly forgot all about it.
I was not to remember until I was visiting a friend in Toronto, many miles from home, and unable to do a thing about it. Soon after remembering, I forgot again. I’ve now had a bottle of pee in my closet for 3 weeks.
EW.
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Need To Pee
21 February 2010
By Tap
In Adventures, Everyday Adventures, Humorous, Just Life, Random
Do you ever check your pants before you put them on? If you don’t, perhaps you should start…
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Boxers, Co Worker, Couple Hours, Dear God, Drivers Seat, Girlfriend Sarah, Grey Material, Haste, Lack Of Attention, Lcbo, Lying On The Floor, Nice Guy, Pair Of Jeans, Pant Leg, Parking Lot, Stairs, Those Jeans, Waistband, Work Clothes, Work Jeans
01 October 2009
By Tap
In Just Life
Turns out the guy that hit my sister was not only way over the blood alcohol limit, he had just recently turned 17. So no jail time for him. Not much of anything.
He walked away from the accident with barely a scratch. My sister and her boyfriend are both out of the hospital and recovering. The stitches have come out of my sisters face, and we wait too see how well they will heal.
Again I would like to end with a Fuck You to that shit-brained loser.
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Blood Alcohol Limit, Jail Time, Loser, Scratch, Stitches
15 September 2009
By Tap
In Heartfelt
You hear about shitty things happening to other people all the time. More often than not, you don’t know who those people are. They are not your family, they are not your friends.
Divorces, deaths, accidents, financial downfalls. Their severity can run from unfortunate to terrible. Take death for instance. A great grandfather passing on is sad, but not unexpected, and that tends to lessen the blow. A 30 year old father dropping dead of heart failure is absolutely tragic. But if you are hearing about this second or third hand, and its about somebody you do not know and probably don’t care about, it just doesn’t get to you. You don’t think that the very same thing that happened to that unfortunate person or family can happen to somebody you know.
I am very guilty of this. I say the appropriate “That’s so sad”, or “Damn that’s terrible”, and I mean it, but I’m not upset. I take for granted the safety of my friends and family. All the bad stuff was always happening to other people. That however, has changed.
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911, Accidents, Aftermath, Bad Stuff, Blow, Bruise, Close To Midnight, Crash, Deaths, Ditch, Fractured Ulna, Friends And Family, Grandparents, Great Grandfather, Guelph, Heart Failure, Intersection, Long Time, Mildmay Ontario, Parents Place, People, Severity, Unfortunate Person
14 November 2008
By Tap
In Adventures, Real Adventuring
I had been looking forward to it all summer. It was going to be fantastic, and it would happen without any problems. My parents were not thrilled about it. I had had some issues attempting the same sort of thing before, and almost died as a result. But, I felt I had a plan that would get me through it okay. And it did. And it was amazing.
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Accidents, Ford, Ford Escort, Holy Shit, Huge Ass, Little Ford, Logging Trucks, Long Distance, Midnight Drive, Oncoming Traffic, Ottawa, Parents, Roses, Sleep, Split Second, Video Clips, Wheel
